Overwhelmed Without Organization

Lately, my biggest complaint is that I'm so scattered. The other day, I said that not only is my plate full, but I'm at an all-you-can-eat buffet, and I can't stop going back for more. Every single morning, I wake up with the knowledge of a hundred things that I have to do. I'm overwhelmed. But not because it is too much stuff (although, there is probably some truth to that), but because I'm just not as organized as I used to be.

 I have always been organized, even as a little kid. My toys were always in place, my books were always in order, and by the time I was 10, my clothes were always in my closet in a specific order. When I started working in law firms, my obsessive tendencies played in my favor - I never once lost a file, memo, letter, receipt, anything. Other secretaries had desks that looked like bombs exploded on them - not me. My desk was always neat and tidy, the only telling signs that someone actually occupied that space were a few pictures of my children (always neat in one small area), sometimes fresh flowers on my desk, and - more often than anything else - a big stack in my inbox.

Organization has been my life.

Until lately.

I'm not sure what has happened, but recently I can't find ANYTHING. I'm losing important paperwork that I need, I can't ever figure out what I'm supposed to be doing and when. Three calendars in this house (one paper, one on the computer that syncs to the one on my phone), I'm missing appointments. Seriously, I'm not even me anymore. Even worse? I'm not even sure where to start looking for me. I think I might have lost me under a pile of laundry waiting to be folded.

The biggest issue seems to just be all of the incoming craziness. This week's crisis is our family truck. I talked about the accident Hubs and Fluffy were in last week the other day. We found out yesterday that our truck is not repairable. Our truck was old, but she was loved, and we're not going to be able to get enough to replace it or make a down payment on something else - because with Hubby losing his job a couple of months ago, we're afraid to commit to a payment schedule.

I've said a hundred times, and I'll keep saying it.  It was JUST a vehicle.  My husband and my sweet little girl were uninjured, and THAT is the most important thing.  But lately, I seem to be saying it just to convince myself, because all I can think about is the endless list of things that always have to be done during any given week.  How are we going to get back and forth to work?  Go to the grocery store?  Get all of us to church?  For the next few days, we still have the rental from the insurance company, but it will have to go back soon - and what then?

Piled on to that is all of the other miscellaneous things we deal with on any given week.  Fluffyhead has another appointment with her eye surgeon this week, SirSmiley has to go for a surgical consult next week, I'm still way behind in planning for Girl Scouts, Red's 13th birthday planning, and oh yeah, the Holidays are coming.

I know that we're going to get through this bump in the road, and I know that God has a plan.  But today I'm really struggling with being able to find the peace in that knowledge.  I think that I'm going to spend the rest of the day getting the house clean and catching up on my to-do list, and maybe I'll feel better about all of it then.

I could really use a fluffy bunny today.

Wow - a year?

Yeah, we all know that I get lazy and stop writing ... but, an entire year? I'm a little disappointed in myself. Ah well - such is life. Today is the eve of Election Day 2012. The idiocy is getting to me. I'm so tired of hearing the parties burn each other the way they have. Riddle me this: in an age when we're trying to get a handle on bullying with our kids, why is it ok for the leaders (or hopeful leaders) of our country to bash each other publicly? Am I the only one tripped up by this? Life has been busy this year, with a lot of ups and downs, and some major life changes. Sometimes I'm unsure about whether the changes are good or not, and sometimes a change is both good and bad. But, I'm think we've all probably been there. Hubby's job situation has changed. He went from working just nights at the theme park, to working there and part time for our church, to now only working part time for the church and trying to expand his photography business. I went from not working at all, to nannying two days a week, to now being an on-call nanny and tutor, and doing some freelance writing on the side. Our marriage has never been stronger. We actually even got to go away for a romantic weekend this year - and planning on doing that more and more often. I had almost completely forgotten how important it is to just sit and laugh with my Prince Charming. Most people don't realize how funny he is, but he absolutely cracks me up!! The kids are growing and growing and growing. The girls have had fun years, but the boys have undergone the most change. Red is finally getting the counseling he has so desperately needed for so many years. I have described his life this past year as a heavy-duty braided rope: one strand is puberty, one strand is asperger's, and one strand is just the culmination of all of the emotional strain our family has undergone this year. OH, and he turns 13 in a couple of weeks. Yikes. Sir Smiley is TALKING! I never thought it would happen. It runs our that with the chronic ear infections he had, he had lost 60% of his hearing. Putting the tubes in helped drastically. But almost a year later, the tubes are gone, the ear infections are back, and we go to see the surgeon next week. The talking is still mostly just with me, but he's getting more and more comfortable in front of more people. His pronunciation is still going to be off, but that is improving slowly - and just adorable. The holidays are coming! I'm focusing on thankfulness right now, as I really do hate to rush right into Christmas without showing some gratitude for the people in my life, the things so many take for granted, and - more than anything - for God's providence in bringing me here. I'm truly excited about seeing what will transpire this holiday season, as we are all in a much better place than we have ever been before. Our current ongoing drama is a car accident. Last week, Hubs and Fluffy were traveling just outside of downtown Orlando, and stopped at a light. Another accident had been off to the side of the road, and the police officer was there taking reports and such. The driver of the vehicle behind Hubby was looking at the other accident, and did not see the red traffic light, or the cars stopped at it, and ran straight into my family. A witness stated that he had been completely turned around in his seat looking at the other accident. yeesh. REALLY?!?! So, my husband is spending this lovely Monday morning with the appraiser determining just how bad our beloved little Delores Durango is, and what it will take to fix her - if she's still even fixable. In the meantime, we've been driving around in a 2013 Expedition that we've all fallen in love with and desperately don't want to give up - it is oh so very nice. I've been praying for the guy that hit them. We haven't been told if he suffered any injury, although no medical personal had been called to the scene. We don't know what he was thinking, or why he wasn't paying attention. What I do know is that, as a whole, none of us pay attention to what is going on right in front of our noses. Whether it be Hurricane Sandy, or the orphans being brought into the church's care, or even just quality time with your family. It is time to start paying attention to the little things in life. And speaking of the little things ... I have a huge pile of clean laundry that is demanding to be folded, and Sir Smiley wants me to read to him.