Friday, February 8, 2013

Family Matters Friday

I'm SO tired.  Like, I'm so tired that I can barely even think.  And I gave up.  I was all, forget the blog, I need to finish what I'm doing and go to bed.  I admitted my defeat on Facebook, and my friend said, DON'T GIVE UP NOW!!!  He's right.  I'm not going to give up now.

Presenting ... what really matters most: My Family

I had a very long day today, and when I got my schedule for this next week, I was equal parts elated and frustrated.  I'm so excited to be working, but oh wow the hours I'll be working this week!  I had one very brief moment when I turned my eyes to the sky and asked why I was doing this.  A few minutes later, I was searching for something in my phone, and came across this:


Yup.  That would be Princess and Sir Smiley ... throwing peace signs with duck lips.  It is quite possible that I am mom to some of the whackiest kids in the world - they are such hams!!!  But they are what matters.


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Ctrl + Alt + Del

How often in your life do you have to reset something - or everything?  You just keep trying to make something work, until you realize that it just isn't going to anymore, so you have to force close it and walk away.  I have a couple of those situations right now, and figuring out how to go through the process is difficult.

Going back to work is really a change.  I've worked out of my home for quite some time, and that was always easy.  I could care for my children, I could work in my jammies, I could do things on my own time and in my own convenience.  All of that is about to change.  I will be hitting that alarm clock in the mornings, getting dressed and heading out the door, working with people who won't be screaming MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY while I'm on the phone ... well ... hopefully.  I'm fairly certain that I have already expressed just how excited I am in previous posts, so I won't harp on that here, but there are some additional stresses that I will be adding.  I'm thankful that my dad lives with us, and that he can assist with childcare and homeschooling, but the prep work that I have to do is almost as intense as the actual work.  Figuring out how to meal plan so that life is easier for Dad is also a challenge.  Then, there's running errands, doctor's appointments, taking care of all of my volunteer commitments, spending time with Hubby ... I'll admit it, I'm a little overwhelmed this morning.

Yesterday, I spent the day working on lesson plans and redesigning some of the organizational systems I've always used, just so they're easier for my dad.  As I was ripping apart folders and printing out worksheets like my life depended on it, the thought occurred to me that it might just be easier to just forget about going back to work, and just keep doing what I'm doing.  Easier?  ABSOLUTELY!!  But is it what I want?  Nope, not even a bit.

When we face change, we either collapse or grow stronger.  Like me, most of you can probably look back on your life and see that your most defining moments were because you triumphed over a change.  The changes don't necessarily have to be life-changing tragedies, a change can be the birth of a baby or winning the lottery - it is *still* change.  And change can be a scary thing. I'm in my mid-30's, I have four children, a husband.  I've had a divorce, I've faced loss, I've faced true pain.  But I'm here, and I'm strong ... and isn't that the definition of getting through it? So, how do you deal with the stress of change?  Are you a take charge-er?  A hide-er until its over?  Do you grab the ball and run for a touchdown, or do you sit on the sidelines and cheer?  I don't think there is a *right* way to handle change.  The only thing that makes it right is whether or not it works for you. I would love to hear some of your stories!  Feel free to give advice (and maybe some encouragement!) in the comments below :)



Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Wordless Wednesday



Re-Orienting Myself


Yes, I know that I did not post this last night, officially I failed on Day 5.  By the time I got home from Orientation, caught up with my dad about how the kids did yesterday, had a huge long lecture with Red about the seven different ways I’m going to lose my sanity if he doesn’t start obeying and doing schoolwork, and then ate dinner … it was going on 10pm and I was so tired, I couldn’t keep my head up.  So, today, I shall write two posts, because I just can’t not write about my day yesterday.  Why?
Because … my new job is AWE. SOME.  I had so much fun yesterday! 
It started with the basics – a history of the company, mission statements, safety information, how many passes we get … the standard.  But then, THEN! Then we got to take a tour of Discovery Cove.  Whoa.  This place is AMAZING.  It honestly feels like you’re walking through some island far away from everyone and everything else in the world.  I realize that I’m going to be *working* there, and that it will, indeed, actually be hard work.  But the surroundings are just so fantastic, I don’t think it will be too difficult to make the stretch.
I realize that not all of you are going to know what this place really is, so a bit of info… Discovery Cove is an interactive marine life resort.  Guests can spend their day snorkeling with fish and rays, lounging in the lazy river, feeding birds, watching marmosets and otters play, and swimming *next to* sharks – but not with lol.  For a little extra, you can swim with dolphins, and take an underwater walking tour!  There are lounging areas, cabanas, unlimited food and beverages… the list of amenities goes on forever.  And all of it is nestled in lush greenery and white sandy beaches. 
Folding towels and handing out wet suits just doesn’t seem too bad when THAT is where I will get to do it. 
... … …
So now I have two days to work through a HUGE to-do list of lesson planning, cheer instruction, housework, cooking, organizing, phone calls, emails, and – wait for it – actually spending some quality time with my kids. Friday is going to be another long day of errands and more orientation. 
Very excited – very blessed!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Getting Excited!

In less than 12 hours, I'll be starting orientation for my new job at Discovery Cove.  I'm so excited that I can barely sit still!  For those of you not near the theme parks, Discovery Cove is a part of Sea World, but very small and way more interactive.  You can swim with dolphins, go snorkeling, lounge in the lazy river, and lots more really cool experiences.

I worked at Sea World right after high school. I worked primarily out of Terrors of the Deep - or Shark Encounter as it is called now.  I **loved** it!  Sharks are my very favorite animals, and getting to sit there and watch them every single day was a dream come true!  I left due to some health issues, and regretted never going back.  Out of all the jobs I ever had, that one was my favorite - and that includes working as a paralegal, which I actually dreamed of doing as kid and even went to school for!  Now, after many years, I'm heading back, and I'm so very stoked!

I'm not going to be doing anything major, just "operations".  I'll mostly be handing out towels, cleaning up messes, giving mini-tours, and pointing guests to the closest restroom - nothing glamorous.  But I'm ok with this, because I needed a change!!  I've gotten stuck in this habit, these daily rituals at home, and I'm not getting out as much, and I'm always staring at a computer, and I'm starting to get a little stir crazy.  While it will certainly be hard work, I'll be out in the sunshine, in a great environment, and working with animals that I care about conserving.

Even more exciting?  My sweet hubby will be there with me!  He will be working part-time doing janitorial stuff.  Even less glamorous than what I'm doing, but he's still happy about being in the sunshine and getting to work together is going to be a blast!  That's how we met, we worked in the same law firm together.  Unlike most couples I've met over the years, we actually truly enjoy spending the extra time together.  After years of Hubby working nights, or us always going in opposite directions, I'm really really looking forward to this next season of life.

::ahhh Bliss::

While I'm here, I'd like to apologize for the funk I was in last night.  Much like I had predicted, I was in a better mood, with an improved outlook.  Like I said, sometimes you just have to pass through the funk so that you can truly enjoy the happy.  And tonight?  Tonight I'm happy.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

A train wreck state of mind...

Confession time:  I deal with major pride and self-esteem issues, as well as feeling bitter and vulnerable, and over-licking my wounds.  I need to wear The Cone of Shame.  

Lately, I've been struggling with a ton of drama.  I hate calling it drama, but really, there is just no other word for it.  I'm feeling torn between things that I want to do, things that I need to do, knowing that I really just need to take a day and curl up in bed with a book and sleep it out, and feeling that I "owe" something to somebody - just don't ask me what that is, because I haven't the faintest idea.

I feel like I'm carrying this giant weight of "I've been totally WRONGED, and somebody must PAY, and I DESERVE an apology!" ... but do I, really?  The person who "wronged" me hasn't done it on purpose, and doesn't even know that I'm hurt.  Yet, I'm sulking around with a huge chip on my shoulder, acting like somebody just ran over my dog.

Am I the only one that struggles through this marsh of self-pity?  Considering all of the cruddy attitudes in this world, I sincerely doubt it.  How do we deal with it?  How do we teach ourselves to focus on the rainbow that we know is on the other side of the storm?  There's the obvious things that we hear all the time: prayer, spend time in God's word, speak with a pastor or a friend, or maybe even fast.  I believe that all of these things work, I don't doubt them, or their existence, or their power.  But I am still a human - and I want an answer RIGHT NOW.  I want to feel better RIGHT NOW.  I don't want to wait for prayer, or thumb through the Bible until I find something that works for me.  I want to gripe and complain and wallow and stomp around and cry until someone hits  me in the head and tells me to shut up so they can fix it - in ten words or less.

Yeah, I'm demanding, I know.  And kind of a train wreck.

I know when I wake up tomorrow, I'll open my Bible and read and feel inspired, and I'll take down Monday like nobody's business.  I will put my SuperMom cape on and fold all the laundry, and lesson plan, and be all awesome.  But today?  Today I feel comfortable in my pain.  

Here's the thing, y'all ... and I want you to pay REALLY close attention here, okay?  This is important.  We have emotions like pain, sadness, grief, and self-pity for a reason.  Should we stay stuck in them for days, weeks, and months at a time?  Ummm... NO.  But, I do feel very strongly that we have to experience these emotions for a few moments so that we have balance.

How can we appreciate the good days without the bad days?  How can we get through the bad days without the promise of good days?  

So, for tonight, I'm going to snuggle down in my bed with my computer, watch the Superbowl with my way-understanding Hubby, yell at the game, and laugh at the commercials.  Tomorrow?  LOOK OUT, I'm coming for you!!

Stuck in the Middle

Today has brought on a lot of reflection for me, and I have come to the conclusion that I have reached a season in my life where I witness both elation and tragedy on a weekly basis, and sometimes in the same day.  Just by nature, I am a very emotional person, I tend to cry.  A LOT.  I'll cry when I'm happy, and when I'm sad, and even when I just don't have the words to express what I'm feeling.

Right now, I have several friends that are either expecting babies, or just having babies.  I even have two friends that are expecting twins.  I think, at last count, I have 6 friends that are in some stage of pregnancy or caring for a newborn.  So much amazing joy!  God's perfect design constantly takes me by surprise - His providence is overwhelming.

But sadly, there has been so much pain already this year for many of my friends.  So far this year, five of my friends have lost parents.  It is only the beginning of February.  This is a pain that I have come very close to myself.  In 2006, my mom had a very serious stroke, and a few months later, my dad had massive heart trouble, and nearly died.  I am very blessed that my parents survived, but I know that someday, their time to pass will also come.  

Today, I attended the funeral of one of the most amazing women I have ever met.  Her generosity had no limits, her laughter was contagious, her ability make everyone feel welcome was truly unique.  For her, life was meant to be lived, not witnessed.  She was a NICU nurse, she volunteered for an organization that worked with tigers, she was an awesome mom, and had just started loving on her first grandbaby.

...

I've sat here for about 20 minutes tapping my keyboard, lost in thought and memories.  I just can't grasp the words to express what I'm feeling.  So, I'll be honest.  Cancer sucks.  

I didn't know what to expect during this season of life ... I'm taking care of my children, and my parents.  I celebrate with friends as they have babies, I celebrate with older friends as their babies get married, and I mourn with others as they grieve their family dying.  I feel unprepared for the enormity of all of this.  I feel that I'm not grown up enough to handle all of it.  

But then again, isn't this what LIVING is all about?  Celebrating new life, new beginnings, and celebrating what a life was?  I was reminded this week just how short life really is.  We are only here for just a few brief moments, what are we going to do with them?  Squander them on things that only satisfy us for a minute?  Or are we going to love each other, laugh daily, and live each and every day to the absolute fullest?

Love.  Laugh.  Live.

I'm trying to.  

Arlene did.  Every single day.  

Thank you, my friend.  God bless you.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Sunday Morning Madness


Because I can attribute my grand return to writing to a conversation started with a friend … I decided to start with that today.  How do I get a family of six out the door and to church without loss of limbs or sanity?  Well … that, my dear friends, is a good story – with a bit of backstory.

It is important that all of you know that I never intended on being a part of a church children’s ministry.  Yet, somehow over time, I ended up there.  First it started with me washing sheets for the infant room, then I succumbed to loving on the tiny babies, then I would fill in as a helper for the preschool teachers IF they were short-handed … so on and so on.  Today, I am an assistant to the amazing husband and wife team that run our children’s ministry, I teach the elementary kids, and I’ve even started writing curriculum – something that was so far beyond my ability to fathom doing, I would have demanded a drug test had you suggested it to me.  Another tidbit of knowledge for this story is that my husband is a part-time custodian at our church, and is also in the rotation for the tech team.  Between the two of us, we end up at church early, are there for both services, and stay about an hour or so after – on average, we are at church for about 5-ish hours on any given Sunday.

So the conversation with my friend, D, went something like this … We were discussing the shortage of volunteers in the children’s ministry, and I shared my very huge frustration that so many of our peers won’t volunteer with the kids because it is just too hard to get their own kids out the door on a Sunday morning.  I can go on to write a huge diatribe about why this really does frustrate me, and maybe I will some other time.  For now, it is a peeve that I’m trying to find better ways to handle, and I absolutely understand that sometimes people really do have major reasons for not volunteering, and I *totally* get that.

All of that to say, D asked me how I’m able to get my four kids up and out the door on Sunday mornings to get to church by 7:30 without losing what is left of my sanity.  (And I assure you, there is precious little left up there.  We must tread very very lightly.)  So here are a few handy dandy tips that I’ve picked up over the years that help me.

~ Breakfast - Obviously, if your family follows a specific diet, some of these suggestions will have to be thought through a little more carefully, we don’t have any dietary restrictions, so this is just what we’re able to do.  I have friends that wake up and make full breakfasts for their families – bacon and eggs, pancakes, biscuits and gravy … don’t get me wrong, these are all awesome, just not practical for us on a Sunday. 

          Solution:  Making muffins on a Tuesday morning?  Make 2 dozen instead of 1.  Have nothing to do on a rainy Saturday afternoon?  Bake up loaves of bread, lots and lots of muffins, mounds of biscuits.  Consider a monthly pancake assembly line.  Healthier options include gluten-free recipes for any of the above, and mixing up tons of eggs (sans yolk if you need to) and microwaving them.  Take all of the above, divide up by serving size, place in your favorite storage container, and throw in the freezer.  Serving can be done any number of ways: taking them out on Saturday night so they’re thaw in the morning (except for the eggs, obviously), throw them back in the oven, or nuke them in the microwave.  I like to take the eggs and throw them on a biscuit with a slice of cheese.  Bonus points for “car foods” for those mornings that none of the planning ahead works and you’re still running late.  Breakfast is the last hurdle we jump before going out the door, if we need to take it with us, it is no problem.  Can’t find the time to cook ahead?  I have been known to buy a box of doughnuts or package of muffins from the grocery story bakery on a Saturday to save myself a step. 

To Nekkid or not to Nekkid – THAT is the question:  Ever gotten up on a Sunday morning only to find that your laundry protest on Saturday has led you to having nothing to wear to church?  Yeah … I’ve been there.  Nothing like your newly-trained three-year-old screaming that he’s out of Thomas Big Boy Pants to get a case of the grumpies.  Have teenagers that try on 14 outfits and throw them on the floor - only to be kicked into the dirty clothes for you to wash again?  Oh how I hate that!!

          Solution: Obviously, there are different ways to handle this depending on how old your kids are.  For my older kids, I suggest that they decide what they’re going to wear to church before Saturday, that way they won’t grab it during the week and wear it, and then be frustrated because it isn’t clean by Sunday.  For the Littles, when I’m folding laundry during the week, I’ll set aside a complete outfit.  Fluffy gives me input, but Sir Smiley doesn’t really care – yet.  I know lots of families that set their clothes out the night before, but if we’re doing something fun on Saturday, I may not want to take the time, or might forget.  If it is done earlier in the week, I don’t have the extra stress.

Got Stuff? – We have a lot of stuff that we take with us to church: Bibles, notebooks, anything I might be working on for children’s church, and sometimes all kinds of other stuff. 
Solution:  I have found that making sure that each kid has their own bag to transport stuff in is the easiest path.  This is the one thing we do on Saturday nights.  The kids make sure that their bag is on the table by the door, so all they do is grab it on their way out.

Did you notice a common theme?  PLAN AHEAD.  Anything that you don’t have to do on Sunday morning helps clear the way for a quick transition.  Another helpful hint?  TEAMWORK.  You can’t do it all by yourself – figure out a rhythm that works best for everyone and stick with it.  And finally?  DON’T GIVE UP!!  It might take a few weeks to get into the swing of it, and even then there could be a fever or shattered coffee cup that might throw you off track – but keep going!  I promise, it will all come together in the end!

So all of that to say that getting fluffy bunnies in order so that you can get out of the house on a Sunday morning can be really easy – it just takes a little bit of thought and knowing your family.  Hopefully, some of these tips will help you out this week!