Fluffiest Bunny: Katie Goldman

When we think of changing a big problem in our world, like bullying, we think it is going to take something BIG. How often we forget that change can be a ripple affect, and start with a tiny pebble. A tiny pebble in the form of a seven-year-old girl. Allow me to introduce you to Katie Goldman.

Like most children her age, Katie is vibrant and energetic. She hates her glasses and the patch she has to wear (I remember when we had to patch Fluffyhead Diva - so difficult!). She LOVES Star Wars. Red thinks she's awesome. She had picked out her backpack, lunchbox and water bottle in a Star Wars theme for school. Recently, boys in her class started teasing her because Star Wars isn't a girl thing, its for BOYS. Pfffftttt. After her mom finally figured out what was going on, she blogged about it, and it went VIRAL.

You can read her mom's original post here

People came pouring out of the woodwork to come to Katie's defense! Most notably, Catherine Taber, the voice of Padme Amidala on "Star Wars: The Clone Wars". Now, that is one chick definitely into Star Wars! People have donated toys, worn t-shirts, and someone even started a Facebook event that ran yesterday (so wished I had seen this before yesterday!!). And suddenly, Katie Goldman became another Face of Bullying.

Bullying? In the first grade? Absolutely. Because, obviously, it has to start somewhere. Kids don't walk into the ninth grade and decide to be bullies - they are raised, they are hurt, they gain strength as they grow. Teasing about a Star Wars bottle in the first grade could very easily develop into beating up the fat kid in tenth grade, and outing a gay roommate in college.

I watch my children interact with their peers and I wonder what happens when I'm not watching. Are they kind to one another? Are they tolerant of each other's differences? I have tried so diligently to teach them that our similarities bond us together, but our differences do NOT have to drive us apart. I worry what my children are being teased about ... goodness knows they tend to stand out in the crowd. Red and his hair and madness for Legos. Princess and her shockingly outgoing personality. Fluffyhead Diva with her Coke bottle glasses and extremely curly hair. Sir Smiley isn't old enough to have awkwardness yet, but as a part of this family, I'm sure he'll develop his own wonderful quirks and oddities.

And that is perfectly fine.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you're a Star Wars freak, or a cheerleader - and you can be BOTH!!! - what matters is how you treated yourself and how you treated others.

Katie, you are our Fluffiest Bunny. You remind us that sometimes it is hard to stand up for what you believe in. Sometimes you get scared. Sometimes, you do get bullied. But sometimes, you just live your life, enjoying what you enjoy and not backing down from that. You keep carrying your Star Wars bottle - every day. I promise you that you're not the only girl who loves Star Wars. Fluffyhead Diva is only 4 and quotes whole sections of the movie (and wears glasses too!). You have an entire league of girls who are right there with you. You are AWESOME!

If you want to read more about Katie, here is a great article done by CNN ... and here is where I first read the story on SRMM

Thank you, Katie!!

The Fluffiest Bunny: An Introduction

Warning Label: Today is going to be two posts. Originally, I had started writing this as one big post, but apparently my brain can only handle so many trains at once, and we exceeded capacity. This post is just an explanation, the next one is going to be where we find our awesomeness.

A couple of weeks ago, when I began writing this blog, I wanted it to be more than just the random musings from my weird (and somewhat frightening) brain. I wanted it to be about my take on the world we live in, sometimes about the awesome and sometimes about the failures and shortcomings of society. I am realistic enough to know that my single voice can't change the world ... but I set out hoping that, as imperfect and flawed and messed up as I am, my optimistic point of view might just make a tiny dent.

There is a lot of bad out there. People find the most disgusting ways to hurt each other - go out of their way to harm their fellow humans. It breaks my heart. I am the farthest thing from a perfect person, but I can't imagine waking up in the morning and making the decision to injure someone. I hate dwelling on the ick, but I will most certainly stop and examine that when I find it necessary. But when was the last time you found a situation got better just by you standing there and yelling at it? That has never worked for me. It is kind of like watching your favorite football team lose on national television. Unless you can text the coach with a miracle play, you are powerless.

That powerlessness is what has inspired me. I decided that in order to really celebrate the successes in our world, I wanted to showcase people who are doing their part, making a stand, forcing change ... sometimes completely by accident. I sincerely believe that the ability to do good is contagious. The entire last year of my life has shown me that.

So, with knowing exactly what I wanted to do, and exactly how I wanted to do it, the only thing that remained was what to call it. I debated this for a couple of days because I wanted it to be fun without compromising how strongly I feel about what these people are doing. After much hemming and hawing, I decided that I like the fact that God made things bigger than bunnies, but the bunnies are really important, too. And sometimes nothing makes you smile more than a big fluffy bunny.

Now, with all of that being said (we all know I started this blog because I have permission to be long-winded here) ... I'm very excited about our first Fluffiest Bunny. I had it narrowed down on who would be a good "first", but was still quite indecisive. When I woke up this morning, I stumbled across an article in one of my favorite blogs about a gorgeous little girl who is high-quality Fluffiest Bunny material!

I hope you enjoy it ... and if you know of a Fluffiest Bunny candidate, I'm always open to suggestions!

Momisms

I mentioned the other day that I went to a Christmas brunch for church. Well, no one tell my mother this, but I wore red lipstick. BRIGHT red lipstick. At 10:00 in the morning. To a *church* event. I received a few compliments on how great I looked, and how well the RED lipstick went with my coloring, and felt pretty darn spiffy. But if my mother had been there? I'd still be getting lectured about how a real lady would NOT wear "whore red" lipstick before 6pm - and certainly not to a church function!

I must admit, I got a big case of the giggles ... and then went on a nostalgic adventure of all the things my mom taught me that stay with me every single day. Even better? I find myself using these same "Momisms" on my own children.

"Exercise your adverbs!" The daughter of two extremely grammatically correct people caused me to be all kinds of insane when it comes to language. When asked a question, a simple answer of only a couple of words was unacceptable!

"Can't is a figment of your imagination!" It didn't matter how hard I tried at something, failure just wasn't an option. If I was going to invest my time into an activity, then I had to master it - no questions asked and no whining allowed.

"Priorities are the tools that will get you ahead of your comrades!" It took me a long time to understand why I would actually want to get "ahead" of my "comrades", and I'm still not really sure I get it ... but I think it has something to do with getting my act together and not wasting frivolous amounts of time on nothingness. (Oh, Facebook apps, you have foiled my plans again! Stupid farms!)

My mom was a stickler. She had to be. She was a single mom from the time I was five, and she worked hard. By the time I was 10, she worked two jobs and I was trusted to do all of my schoolwork and my chores. There were weeks when I only saw her on the weekends. She taught me a lot about how to run a house, how to take care of others, how to think on your feet, and how to scramble out of a situation if you had to. I am strong because of her.

My mom is now living far away and is a completely different woman than the one I grew up with. She suffered a stroke almost 5 years ago, and it really changed her. She no longer sweats the small stuff. She's forgotten about all of the things that she was ever mad at me for, and can't ever figure out why I would have been mad at her. She even has days when she forgets that she and my dad got divorced. There are so many things that I wish hadn't happened between us ... but I'm glad that I'm able to enjoy a relationship with her now that isn't clouded by all of that.

I think of the pearls of wisdom I pass on to my own children now. What am I teaching them? How much of it will they remember - maybe even treasure? How much of it will they decidedly forget?

"Practice patience!" They hate it when I say this to them. But patience isn't something you perfect, it is something you have to practice every single day. Like an athlete practices his sport, so a person must practice being patient with other people.

"Use your listening ears!" Not just regular ears made for hearing, these ears are specially formatted to obtain and comprehend special information. They are usually kept in pockets for safe-keeping and easy access.

"Be good to your siblings - God gave them to you to be your best friends!" Hubby was an only child growing up and there is such a huge age difference between me and my siblings, that I might as well have been an only child. We are teaching our children that they are each others best friends, and they are in the same family for a reason. They are to treasure each other and treat each other right. Even if they get really mad at each other, they still need to love one another.

I wonder how many more sayings we'll gain over the years. I wonder how many we'll have to invent out of necessity. I wonder if they'll pass them on to their own children. I can only pray that what I teach them every single day they will keep with them, they will use them, and they will love that they learned that from their Mom.

They will love that their Mom taught them more than just fluffy bunnies.

To Santa or Not To Santa....

This was the year Princess said, "Mom, you don't have to get me a gift from Santa because *dramatic pause* I KNOW." Uh-oh.

Me: Know what?

Her: About Santa.

Me: What about Santa?

Her: *rolled eyes, dramatic sigh* YOU. KNOW.

Me: Princess, I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about.

Her: *whispering* That he isn't real!

Me: WHAT?!?! Have you lost your mind?!?! Pfffttttt ... not REAL?! Girl, you are crazzzzyyyyy. And then I changed the subject.

I have a confession to make. I still believe in Santa Claus. I'll wait for you to stop laughing.

Okay, allow me to clarify. I do not believe that there has been a single man delivering presents to every single child in the world one night a year for the past one thousand years. Seriously people - how cracked do you think I am? Everyone knows that would create too many ripples in the Space-Time Continuum and history as we know it would not exist. Sheesh.

What I do believe is that something happens this time of year. People start to smile a little more, they give to others more freely, they laugh a little harder, and they remember a little more fondly. There is that little bit of something extra in the air that sparks hope, love, joy, optimism, charity, kindness. If that isn't Santa, what is?

I know there are some of you that, for whatever reason, don't think we should fool our children into believing in Santa. Some of my friends think that Santa distracts from the *real* reason of the season, and I understand that. But, then what is all the non-Christians supposed to celebrate? I also have friends that don't think it is good parenting to lie to their children. It doesn't matter which reindeer pulls your sleigh, what matters is who you deliver presents to.

I love the anticipation leading up to Christmas morning. As the children grow older, it is a lot of fun to listen to them debate what Jolly Old Saint Nick is going to leave under the tree. I find bliss in watching them write their letters. Leaving out cookies and milk - and carrots for the reindeer - is my favorite part of the evening. I love watching hoards of children line up at the mall waiting for just a moment to share their wishes. I've heard from Santa many times that he has had some very meaningful words with children in that couple of minutes.

I think that the world can be a very bleak place. I think that children need whatever they can hold on to that gives them joy and optimism. We try to rush them into growing up. I'm guilty of it myself - Red and I are already talking college choices and he's only in the fifth grade. Why not let them hold on to childhood for as long as they can?

Now, in our house, we've explained that God is the ultimate giver of all that joy and optimism. With us, Santa is a man who loved Christ so much and wanted to celebrate him that he started giving out presents to all of the children he knew. God was so honored by Santa's actions that He has made it possible for Santa to keep doing what he does - even if we can't figure it out.

A the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you are honest with your children or if you let them believe in Santa. What matters is that you show your children love and grace, teach them to be forgiving and hopeful, and spend each day celebrating the wonder that is this time of season. Just don't make fun of me when you hear me humming "Santa Claus is Coming to Town".

Because while God made more than fluffy bunnies, He also made fluffy bunnies.

Joyful Traditions

My church had our Ladies' Christmas Tea today and the speaker - a dear sweet friend of mine - spoke about finding the joy in this season when you're not feeling very joyful. Her words really moved me today, as I am really struggling this season. A year of severe financial problems has sucked the joy out of much of my life ... Christmas being the ultimate kick to the belly. I've spent most of today deep in thought and wondering just what Christmas means to me - and what I want it to mean to my children.

Growing up, Christmas wasn't about religion or family. It was a series of formalities that had to be followed precisely. The tree had to be put up the weekend after Thanksgiving. I wasn't really allowed to help until I was older, lest I hang the ornaments haphazardly and the tree would not look symmetrical. The tree itself was also very formal - all red decorations, most of them glass. No handmade reindeer or wreathes, nothing that signified a first Christmas. Cards went out the following week. No notes of love or updates on achievements, just a formal signature of the family name. The gifts were all wrapped with precision, bows just right. The table was always set in Christmas china. Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole always played in the background. While there was the customary present mayhem on Christmas morning, the rest of the day was spent quietly watching parades and football games, visiting family or friends, and then a quiet evening reflecting on the day. The tree came down on January 2, and Christmas was boxed up for another year.

When I became a Mommy, I became overwhelmed with the need to make Christmas MEAN something. It took me a very long time to figure out just what I needed. It wasn't until after I became a Christian that I discovered just what Christmas really meant to me. I think I'll reiterate what my friend shared today, because I just couldn't say it better if I tried. God spoke the universe into existence, He spoke the word into the hands of profits, and then He spoke His very own being into the world in the presence of His Son.

No tree, garland, or mistletoe could do that justice.

My husband didn't come from a very tradition-filled family, either. It has been a real struggle for us to shape what traditions we want for our children. On one hand, we have nothing from which to draw from. On the other, we both know exactly what we DON'T want. No formality or stuffiness. No rigidity. Christ. Joy. Love. Cookies.

I don't wrap any presents and put them under the tree until Christmas Eve. I stay up all night, watching sappy movies, drinking flavored coffees, and wrapping presents. I also assemble some of those insane toys. I've learned that if you wrap the box and put them under the tree, the child in question has come unglued and/or uninterested in the present before you undo those six zillion plastic tie thingies and get the batteries in. Forget. That.

We let the kids open one present on Christmas Eve and it is always brand new pajamas. Learned this one from my very dear friend who laughed today when she found out we stole it from her. They love seeing what we've picked out for them every year, and I love the pictures the next morning where they look cute, they tops match their bottoms and they're not stained or too small.

We'll get them several small random items - usually dollar store finds - and a Christmas stocking, but we only do ONE gift per child, and one gift for the entire family. (Sidebar, not only are we facing financial crisis this year, but so many other families are as well. January credit card bills are no laughing matter.) When they are older, I don't want them to mark the years by what they received, I want them to remember what they gave and what we did.

This year has been especially hard for me. For the second year in a row, we are living in a home that is just too small for a tree. With all the changes I've made from my childhood, I have to admit my tree is still my favorite part. I've spent years searching out the perfect ornaments - everything is bedecked in candy canes and trimmed with red and white. But I became determined that I was not going to let a lack of space stop me. I bought a big roll of metallic green wrapping paper and a gazillion bows. We cut a tree-ish shape out of the wrapping paper (arts and crafts is NOT my strong suit) and covered it in bows. It actually looks fairly cute. Definitely a little ghetto, but cute. Is it ideal? No. Have I already demanded a huge tree with the return of my candy canes next year? Yes. But for this year, I'm content just giving us something to visually signify the season.

I am determined to enjoy Christmas this season. I vow to be present for my children. I'm going to read about the birth of Christ. I'm going to recite 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. We're going to sing carols off-key until we're hoarse. And we are going to pray. For ourselves. For others. And, for the first time in a very long time, we are going to experience Joy.

Joy is more than just fluffy bunnies.

Time flies ...

... when you're (not) having fun. The past few weeks have been a blur of runny noses, sinus pain, coughing, and just generally feeling like poo. Also, Thanksgiving. :)

I don't know if it has just been a change in the weather, or what - but we've no sooner gotten over one cold and we've gotten another. Or, as with this week's entertainment, we took our annual family photos and took some pictures in the grass, and there was something in the grass that affected us all. We were all fine Thanksgiving morning, but by that night, not a one of us could breathe.

I promise that as soon as I have unclogged myself of antihistamines and can type a sentence without blowing my nose or wiping one of the kids, I will be back to my normal interesting outtakes on life.

Until then, remember that God gives us more than fluffy bunnies. (Just wish He didn't give us allergies.)

Perfection before acceptable...

Last night, I noticed just how badly I need a pedicure. Oh how I wish that were in the budget this week! I haven't freshened up the polish in weeks - some of the toes are missing polish completely. The nails are jagged and uneven. I have calluses on my big toes. Just not looking very pretty. The thought occurred to me that they are so bad that I'm not sure I could face the nice ladies at the salon with the epic foot fail I have going. I would feel compelled to give my self a mini-pedi before going.

That made me remember a conversation I had with a friend of mine the other day about getting a maid service to help out sometimes. We were talking about her specifically recovering from an injury, but the conversation meandered around new moms, couples who work too many hours, people who choose to spend their money on that and enjoy the time it frees for them ... She laughed about being too embarrassed about a cleaning service seeing how dirty her house was, and she would be compelled to clean it before they show up.

All of that got me thinking about a post I read recently by Single Dad Laughing about The Disease Called Perfection. If you haven't read any of SDL, or hadn't seen this blog post, read it - it is amazing. Go ahead and read it now, I can wait. I'm very patient. :)

Why is it so important to us to be perfect? I just don't understand! I am so far from perfect. I am overflowing with flaws - physical, emotional, mental ... I'm a hot mess. And I'm ok with admitting that to you. Would you be so quick to admit your flaws to me?

How many of you wake up in the morning, take a look in the mirror, and feel disappointed by what you see? Do you hate the person staring back at you? Is that person not what you expected you'd be? Let me ask you this .... do you have issues with yourself because you're not PERFECT or because you're less than what you HOPED you'd be? Is it physical? Or other things? Maybe you didn't go as far in college as you'd wanted to. Maybe you haven't found your perfect someone yet. Maybe you don't have children, and you wanted them. Maybe you've suffered some severe emotional trauma, and you aren't healing.

What would happen if tomorrow you looked into that same mirror and said, "You know, you're really not the total train wreck you think you are. In fact, you're looking gorgeous, and today, we're going to have a great day!!" Would the whole world fall apart? Would the universe be so out of sync that there would be earthquakes and tsunamis and no open check-outs at Wally-Mart? (Wait, scratch that last one.)

Even better - let's start building each other up. The next time you see a colleague at work, compliment their ability to do their job. Tell your best friend that you love their wardrobe choices. Compliment a stranger. And for the love of all that is good and wonderful, compliment your CHILDREN!!! I don't care how much you hate your son's mohawk or your daughter's pink streaks, tell them they are awesome! Make it easier for this next generation to feel better about themselves. Arm them with the tools they need to be confident and strong. Help them choose role models that are positive influences and that are actually contributing something to society. Steer them away from whatever over-wrought teen star is in the spotlight right now. Aiming for their status did nothing for us, even though I think at times we might forget that.

Let's be real, shall we? Do you really want to be the airbrushed, processed, botoxed, staged, well-lit, vaseline-on-camera-lens, version of perfect we see on tv and magazines? Is that what perfect really IS anyway? I think not. Neither is aligning our standards with people who have a team to do what you do. I don't have a nanny, cook, maid, personal trainer or chauffeur. My husband and I split up all of those duties and if somebody misses a meal or if there's a load of laundry left in the dyer or if somebody misses a scout meeting, there isn't anyone to fire - it is all on us.

I think tonight I'm going to give myself a decent pedicure, and I'm not even going to judge myself before I do it. I don't need to. I'm smart, funny, and the shirt I'm wearing today really brings out the gold flecks in my eyes.

And God made me, and I am way more than fluffy bunnies.

Grabbing my umbrella ...

When it rains, it pours. Well, I've got my umbrella, Mickey Mouse pancho, boots, and I've ordered the sandbags.

The last year has been bountiful with ups and downs and plenty of rain storms, but I have been blessed in that, for the most part, they've been spread out and I've had time to dry a little before the next one hits. But the last 24 hours has been quite the opposite.

It started with a phone call last night. My dad's best friend passed away. He's been gradually getting sicker over the past year, having battled melanoma and a few other issues. He and my dad had been friends for as long as I could remember, he was the closest thing I had to a grandfather. (My mom's dad died before I was born, and Dad was never close to his dad. I hadn't seen him since I was 5 and he died when I was in middle school.) I'm going to miss him - he was a lot of fun.

I got to work this morning, and wad gifted with the information that my hours were getting cut - again. I work as an office manager for a courier company, where my dad is a dispatcher. I was already not looking forward to coming into work today, knowing that Dad was going going to be grieving. When the boss told me what had been decided over the weekend, I was shell-shocked. It was only a couple of months ago that I was complaining about working like fourteen days in a row, and now I'm getting cut down to two days a week. So now what do I do? I have to look for another job, but how are we going to balance something that fluctuating to our schedule?

I said to a friend of mine, "But there's this and that and the other thing, but I just don't know, but I can't." And then I realized just how horrible that sounded. I'm not pessimistic - I'm just scared.

As I was leaving my very difficult day of work, I called my husband so I could vent and gripe, and he greets me with the news that our apartment has flooded. Wait. What? I stopped right in the middle of the street and cried. I wasn't sure what else to do. They're replacing some of the water lines, and apparently the professional plumber in charge of the project failed to turn the water off of before cutting into the main water line. Really? No, wait. REALLY?? Even *I'm* not that daft!! Thankfully, nothing was really damaged. Just a lot of wet carpet, and that will dry and is getting cleaned tomorrow.

I realize that, in the grand scheme of life, none of these things are totally horrendous. But it just feels like we can't ever catch up. It is so hard to keep focused on the big picture. I am downtrodden today with worry and fear. Next week, Red turns 11. I'm not sure how we're going to be able to do anything that would honor him. I don't even mean a huge swinging bash ... I just mean something out of the ordinary that would signify the day. I'm tired of him having to sacrifice simply because "he's old enough to understand now". Just because he is, doesn't mean he should have to.

How does one face this much pain and adversity and not get completely buried in the muck? Finances, marital strain, schooling issues, doctor's appointments, folding laundry, cooking .... No matter how big or small, these life things can become our best friends and our worst enemies. They teach us life lessons. They empower us to strive for the very best while they make us run and hide under our covers. tonight is going to be a hiding under the covers night. Tomorrow? Tomorrow I'm going to get up and face my world head on, with all of the stubborn tenacity I can find. Because deep down, somewhere, I know that this is just another challenge - a life lesson. God has something amazing planned for me. I have gained so much in the obstacles and pitfalls in my life. I know that this is just going to be another learning experience.

Because more than anything else? God teaches us more than fluffy bunnies....

The One that Broke the Mold

Well, my arrogance has finally come back to bite me.

I am the mother of four children. Four incredibly beautiful, healthy, intelligent, and wonderful joys of my life. My oldest turns 11 in a week. While I have new struggles and frustrations with them every single day, I'm being honest when I tell you that I thought I had so many parts of motherhood figured out. An expert? No. Able to write books and join the talk show circuit? Absolutely not. But I could get through the trials and tribulations of early childhood unscathed and without serious injury.

And then came along Sir Smiley. And turned everything I knew about Motherhood up.side.down.

It actually started at birth. I don't want to complain and say it was a horrible pregnancy, because I know so many women who live through absolute nightmares. But it was no cakewalk. Of the four, it was the most difficult pregnancy. I went on bed rest at six months. I was at 35 weeks along when, during a routine monitoring at my doctor's office, he decided to admit me. The next day, they did an amniocentesis to ensure his lung strength, and after determining it was safe, they took me in for a cesarean section. It was a tedious hour, and I don't regret the way his birth played out ... it was just the beginning of many things that were going to come.

At one week, he was diagnosed with failure to thrive. We spent an entire weekend in the hospital just watching him eat and making sure he had finally eaten enough. He loved snuggling with me and falling asleep on me - the other kids grew out of that very quickly. Like my other kids, he wasn't a huge fan of the pacifier, but unlike any of the others, he sucks his two middle fingers. He didn't walk until about 15 months, because he just didn't want to.

Sir Smiley turns 18 months tomorrow. He still happily takes 2 naps a day, when the others were barely even taking one at age 2. He has to go to sleep with his blankie bear, the others didn't need a favorite lovey. He has separation anxiety, the others were independent. He doesn't talk. He still wakes up 2 or 3 nights a week when the others were sleeping like champions. He will sometimes yell Momma or Dada when he's really mad, but beyond that - nothing. The others had huge vocabularies by this time. In fact, Red was speaking in fragmented sentences and could sing his ABC's by 18 months. The other night he refused to eat rice, the others will eat anything I put in front of them.

He is quiet when the others are loud, he is sweet when the others are busy, he is the snuggler when the others are running. He's the one that puts his small hand on my face and gives me kisses. He is the one that crawls up on the bed between me and hubby and lies there for an hour at a time.

I'm not complaining, I'm not worried about his development. I'm worried about how I'm handling it. I worry about how my poor little brain is adjusting to all of this change. I had babies figured out! I knew what I was doing! Not anymore. He challenges me and pushes me and forces me to be a better mom.

I'm learning that Motherhood is More than just Fluffy Bunnies.

Free-range or Helicopter?

I just read a really interesting discussion about parents that let their children go crazy and parents that are much too controlling. Do we let the kids go out and play, or do we micromanage every moment of their time? Do we teach them how to do their own laundry and cook all of their own meals, or do we do everything for them all the time?

I'm not going to go too in-depth here, because I really don't feel the need or have the patience to debate parenting styles. I'm a simplistic sort, so I'm going to break this down in really easy terms:

Are you people nuts?

No, I mean seriously. Seriously??

While I don't suggest a "middle of the road" attitude when it comes to the freeway at 5:00pm on a Friday afternoon when there's a home game ... I swear by it when it comes to parenting. (And probably eating too, but I'm thinking that's a different post for a different day.)

For you free-range people: Children MUST have discipline and rules. God gave US to our children in order to teach them. Are you really teaching your child if you're letting them run all over the store/neighborhood/park/whatever without any way to check in with you? Hello, buddy system! Independence is a good thing, as long as it is learned in doses over time. That's why we get them for 18 years and not 5.

Helicopters: Seriously? I'm a practical person, so I have to ask this: How do you have time to tend to yourself (like you know, showers or even a bathroom break!) if you're busy hovering over your child? Mowgli was raised in the woods by wolves, do you really think your child won't make it thru an afternoon outing without your huge bag of organic snacks? Do you think that you are preparing your child for REAL LIFE if you are doing everything for him? When he goes off to college (assuming you let him leave the state ... or even the city), how is he going to eat or do laundry? How is he going to even be accountable for the work he does? I'm sure child investigators will have a lot to say about the fact you've just strangled your child with your apron strings.

Middle of the road, people: teach your children to be smart in situations, teach them when to come to you for help, and teach them how to be responsible for their own actions. Give and take. Moderation. Think about it.

What are we passing on?

My children never cease to amaze me. Their fascination for everything, their undying curiosity, their unyielding search for answers ... absolutely wonderful! I sometimes find it very difficult to find the line. That invisible line between protecting them from the big bad scaries in the world and that quest for knowledge. I believe it is a struggle all parents deal with, and there are so many times when I question the decisions I make.

I believe most parents, like myself, take a good measurement of our experiences as children and add them to what our knowledge of society is today. The variable element comes in with how we perceived our own childhood. I am the child of a very strict mom and a very easy-going dad. My mom censored everything I did - television, music, books, clothes, friends - until I moved out the week after graduating from high school. My dad, conversely, trusted in my ability to make informed decisions about what was appropriate. I could probably write for days about the psychology of the generations even before that - but I'd rather not.

I think the biggest difference between how I was raised and how I'm raising my children is that I'm raising them in a Christian household. God comes first - ALWAYS. I don't disallow them from watching a television show simply because "I said so", I give them valid reasons, such as too much sex or too much violence, or whatever. That being said, we tend to not block a lot of the shows and such out there. Instead of hiding the children from the big bad nasties, we discuss why some of the things we are watching are harmful. I'd rather empower them with the knowledge to make their own decisions than just lay down the law.

We also gain a lot of information from our peers. Having a vast majority of very conservative friends, I know a lot of children who are shielded from most of the things that are happening in society. There is little to no discussion, simply a statement that "it isn't Godly". While I certainly feel that this a valid parenting choice, I worry about the level of rebellion that can occur later on. It is my experience that a child can only hear "NO" so many times before they decide to do whatever they want to do regardless of a parent's reasons why they shouldn't.

I also have friends that are much more lenient about what their children take in. I'm not quite sure I agree with this method, either. It doesn't matter how free-wheeling you are as a parent, you still have to actually ... you know ... PARENT. Is a child learning how to decide for themselves what is appropriate? What is the measuring stick they've been given?

Additionally, as time marches on, our standards change. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo slept in separate beds, but it is not uncommon to see couples interacting sexually all over television today. The reading list my 5th grader chooses from is the same reading list I had in high school, which is the same one my father had in college. Food for thought: What this generation tolerates, the next generation will accept. (Thank you, Aussie Anderson - your words are truly inspiring!)

So, the question becomes, are we willing to take a stand against the continued degradation of our society? I'm not entirely convinced that protecting our children from everything is the answer, and I know letting them run free isn't the answer. It's time to teach them what their responsibilities are, and teach them how to improve our world.

It is time to teach them about more than fluffy bunnies.

What we have here is a failure to communicate

A word on politics.

I probably should have written this last week in preparation for the vote when things were getting really heated up, but in some of the aftermath, I've heard a few things that have reminded me that it's never really too late to say what really needs to be said.

At some point, we all need to take a deep breath and realize that the mud-slinging and dirty politics is going to be the undoing of our entire culture. Is this really the legacy we want to leave behind for our children? When my great-grandchildren are learning about the politics of this era, they are going to have a tinge of embarrassment over the way we've handled this country. It is time to put our big girl/big boy pants on, grow up and fix this mess we've gotten ourselves into.

I have the unique pleasure of being able to say that I have been blessed by some truly amazing friends that I have learned so much from. I have friends on both side of the political line. And over the past few years I have learned a lot from all of you.

To my Liberal friends (of which I proudly belong) ... You are a diverse group. You are made up of Christians and non-Christians. Working and unemployed. Rich and poor. Gay and straight. Homeschooling and nonhomeschooling. You make up every single people group in our great country. You care for others, are concerned for their welfare, take a peaceful stance, and want this world to be a better place. Most of you are very outspoken about why you are tired of the conservative right stripping you of your freedoms. Because, to you, that is what this country is based on: FREEDOM.

To my Conservative friends (I don't belong to you, but I love you anyway) ... You are not as diverse. You are made up of mostly Christians. You are forthright and outspoken. You are quiet and unassuming. You are steady and strong. Your hearts ache with the downtrodden of others. You are concerned with the betterment of our communities, of our schools, of our government, and of our society as a whole. For many of you (but not all, not trying to completely generalize), there is only important factor and that is that our country is under God and needs to be protected by His Law.

What I have to say now is going to completely blow you away. Are you ready?

You. Are. Both. Right.

(I'll give you a minute to compose yourselves)

At some point, all of you are going to have to take one big collective deep breath and realize that fighting is NOT the answer. We MUST find common ground and build from there.

Conservatives, I am a Christian, too. I, too, believe that God is sovereign and that it is Him we need to honor in everything we say and do. But, allow me to point out that the mud-slinging that happens during campaigns is NOT honoring to Him. And, please, do not give me the line about "we are just trying to expose the truth of our opponents" because I'm only going to answer with "splinter and board". Let's save us all some time on that discussion, shall we? Consider this, also. Yes, we are Christians. But isn't one of the most important things to realize as a Christian is that not everyone is a Christian? When, as Christians, are we going to lay off and let people live their own religions - or non-religions? We must befriend Buddhists. We must love Muslims. We must understand Agnostics and Atheists. Why? Because God commands us to. We must learn a little bit of lenience and acceptance. You're against abortion? I understand that. But you are not allowed to make that decision for everyone. You want to reform and limit welfare? I understand that. But outlawing, limiting and reforming can be dangerous in that you are automatically turning away your mission field. You want to help a young mom who has been overwhelmed by life, has children, pregnant and considering abortion? The last thing you want to do is leave her with unsafe choices and calling her a whore and putting the children in a position of malnourishment and lack of health care. She's not going to listen to the gospel from you, then.

Does change need to be made? Absolutely. We have let our country run amok. But, stirring people into a frenzy of name-calling, finger-pointing and judgment will NEVER be the answer.

Libs, let's get one thing straight. All conservatives are not out to get you. They don't ALL think you're going straight to hell. They don't all want to stop you from living your life. They want a better country. They want peace. They want clean neighborhoods with safe streets. And that is okay. They don't understand that we want the same thing.

Did you hear that?

We. All. Want. The. Same. Thing.

We are all tired of seeing our sons and daughters slaughtered in foreign countries. We are all tired of watching our tax dollars get flushed down the toilet. We are all tired of fearing for our children in schools. We are all tired of overflowing prisons. We are all tired of worrying about our futures, and the futures of our children.

See how much we have in common?

To sum up ... Conservatives, please stop saying that your way is the right way because it is holier. Remember who you could be hurting by those words. Libs, please stop combating every point with such ferocity. I promise, that over all the people telling you that you're sinning, are people who are listening to you.

As for me. I am not turning my back on my religious beliefs by being open to the thoughts and feelings of others. I have learned that in order to find the best way for the better to be done for all of us, I must hear what real people are really saying. And being a Christian doesn't mean that I'm sitting in judgment waiting for others to mess up so that I can point it out to them.

I think if most of you sit down and truly search your heart, you're going to find that you're not that different than I am.

What is MORE than Fluffy Bunnies?

Society as a whole has taken a nasty turn. Crime is on the rise. Education is plummeting. Government is corrupt. Religions are a total hot mess. We have lost sight of what is truly important and why we are here. For years, I have banged my head against a wall trying to make sense of the insanity. I would like to say that I give up - but there just is NO giving up allowed. We're talking about our children, our parents, our peers - and even ourselves. (I know, God forbid we think about our own futures - so un-pc of me)

I'm not arrogant enough to think that my voice alone is enough to change the world. I am not THAT smart or THAT well-spoken, and quite frankly, I just don't have THAT much time. But, I'd like to think that I do have something to say, and if I can find a few spare minutes to throw it into the computer, it just might mean something to you.

I met with a group today consisting of some of the most amazing and influential people in my church, and in my life. The children's ministry curriculum guru said something I've heard her say before and I love it even more every time she says it: we have to teach our children more than "God made fluffy bunnies." I think that sentiment can be applied to every aspect in our lives. There is more to life than just fluffy bunnies and rainbows, lemonade stands and pinewood derbies. I feel very strongly that we need to open our eyes and see what is truly going on in the world around us.

Please, do not misunderstand - this blog is not going to be all about the hate and how frustrated I am all the time with everything around me and this world stinks. Absolutely not. I have frustration, I have annoyances, I have sadness, I have pain. But despite all of that, I am still an optimist. I will be focusing on the issues of the day - political, religious, educational, societal, and probably the most random musings ever - but I hope to also start offering solutions for some of these issues.

I vow to give my children more than "God made fluffy bunnies" all the time. I don't totally freak them out, but I am honest with them, and I enjoy challenging them and finding out what is making their own little minds tick. I'm going to make the same promise to you. I want to be honest with you, challenge you, and find out what makes you all think, too. I hope that we can learn from one another.

For we are MORE than fluffy bunnies ...