Sunday, February 3, 2013

Stuck in the Middle

Today has brought on a lot of reflection for me, and I have come to the conclusion that I have reached a season in my life where I witness both elation and tragedy on a weekly basis, and sometimes in the same day.  Just by nature, I am a very emotional person, I tend to cry.  A LOT.  I'll cry when I'm happy, and when I'm sad, and even when I just don't have the words to express what I'm feeling.

Right now, I have several friends that are either expecting babies, or just having babies.  I even have two friends that are expecting twins.  I think, at last count, I have 6 friends that are in some stage of pregnancy or caring for a newborn.  So much amazing joy!  God's perfect design constantly takes me by surprise - His providence is overwhelming.

But sadly, there has been so much pain already this year for many of my friends.  So far this year, five of my friends have lost parents.  It is only the beginning of February.  This is a pain that I have come very close to myself.  In 2006, my mom had a very serious stroke, and a few months later, my dad had massive heart trouble, and nearly died.  I am very blessed that my parents survived, but I know that someday, their time to pass will also come.  

Today, I attended the funeral of one of the most amazing women I have ever met.  Her generosity had no limits, her laughter was contagious, her ability make everyone feel welcome was truly unique.  For her, life was meant to be lived, not witnessed.  She was a NICU nurse, she volunteered for an organization that worked with tigers, she was an awesome mom, and had just started loving on her first grandbaby.


I've sat here for about 20 minutes tapping my keyboard, lost in thought and memories.  I just can't grasp the words to express what I'm feeling.  So, I'll be honest.  Cancer sucks.  

I didn't know what to expect during this season of life ... I'm taking care of my children, and my parents.  I celebrate with friends as they have babies, I celebrate with older friends as their babies get married, and I mourn with others as they grieve their family dying.  I feel unprepared for the enormity of all of this.  I feel that I'm not grown up enough to handle all of it.  

But then again, isn't this what LIVING is all about?  Celebrating new life, new beginnings, and celebrating what a life was?  I was reminded this week just how short life really is.  We are only here for just a few brief moments, what are we going to do with them?  Squander them on things that only satisfy us for a minute?  Or are we going to love each other, laugh daily, and live each and every day to the absolute fullest?

Love.  Laugh.  Live.

I'm trying to.  

Arlene did.  Every single day.  

Thank you, my friend.  God bless you.

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