Learning to forgive the hard stuff

 Lately, in our lives, we’ve been facing some big issues.  Issues that have been difficult for us to contend with, things that have caused some major upset in our family’s every day goings on.  I’ve been struggling with how to deal with situations that seemingly have no end or resolution.  I’ve debated for quite some time on how I should write about this because I don’t want to get on my soapbox and scream that so-and-so did such-and-such and now I want to kick that person in the teeth.  Not only does it call out that person’s idiotic behavior, and turns people against them, but then I’m a jerk for doing it.  At the same time, I know that I need to write it out … maybe let go of some of the storm inside my heart.

Ok, so, I’m going to speak in metaphors.  Those are fun, right?

Hubby and I have a favorite football team.  We love our football team – lots of fun, awesome teammates, cool uniforms, whatever.  The coaches are wise and encouraging, great leaders.  But lately, it seems like they’ve been letting the quarterback call all the shots, and we’re not sure why.  The quarterback isn’t in charge, right?  The quarterback’s job is to be a leader on the field, but communicate with the coaches about what is going on and let the coaches make the final call.  And, when the defense is on the field, the quarterback needs to rest and give somebody else a chance to utilize their leadership skills.  But, apparently this quarterback is playing iron man football and is going to be in charge and in the center of attention all the time.  But not one person can do that, which is why teams are divided up the way they are, right?  I mean, there’s stupid stuff going on over in special teams, the kicker is mad at the cornerback, the cheerleaders have ganged up on the offensive linemen, there’s chaos.  And the fans are just sitting back, confused, scratching their heads, and wondering why they even showed up at all.  At some point, the fans may leave … then what happens to the team? 

As fans, there is nothing we can do for the team, except hope that somebody fixes it soon.  Either the coaches need to regain control, or they need to start making trades, or even just recognize that there are problems and do what they can to change the attitudes of the players.  In the meantime, we’ll keep showing up to the games in our shirts and face paint and hope for the best.

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There’s a teacher that truly loves his students.  He sincerely loves to teach, and he’s that guy that stays after school to tutor, he heads up fifteen different clubs and teams just to spend more time with the kids.  He’s the teacher that all the kids form bonds with and turns to when they’re in trouble.  He’s the one that knows when there’s drama in their lives – often even before their own parents. 

He’s formed a bond with one kid in particular – the kid is funny, bright, and good-natured, but not very well-liked by the other students.  The other kids think this one is a bully, or entitled, or just a jerk.  But the teacher?  He stands up for the kid, because he knows that underneath all of his bravado there is a heart of gold. 

The kid grows up, graduates, and starts his own life.  He ends up getting a job as a staff member of the school his teacher works at.  Some of the other teachers complained because they never took the time to get to know the kid, and all they knew is that the kid was a jerk and the other students hated him.  But the teacher defends him, tells the other teachers that things will be just fine.  Except, they’re not.  Before the kid even takes on all of the full responsibility of his job, he has a fight with the teacher.  The teacher tries to talk to the kid, but the kid doesn’t want to listen.  Instead, the kid goes to the principal and tells her that the teacher was inappropriate.  The teacher loses his job.

The teacher hops on a roller coaster of emotions, but ends up at pity.  He pities the kid.  He’s heard that the kid is having a tough time with his responsibilities, and none of the other teachers or students respect him at all.  In fact, most of them refuse to work with him outright.  This makes the teacher very sad, because deep down, he knows that the kid is trying; that the kid just wants to make a better school.  But at what cost?  What’s the payoff?  Everybody gets hurt.

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Mercy.  Forgiveness.  Consideration.  Resolution.

Letting go.  Moving on.

Why are these so difficult?  And why must they cause so much pain?