Thursday, May 19, 2011

Satisfaction - and a lack thereof...

I've once again fallen behind on my writing and lost sight of my purpose with this blog. I wish I could tell you that I have this amazing reason, but, I really don't. The fact is that I've been so busy living my life, I haven't been able to write about my life. Additionally, I've been stressed. I started to write to relieve my stress, but looking at the words on the page didn't relieve anything at first, it only made it worse.

But now - of course - I'm dealing with the frustration of not being able to deal with any of the balls I'm juggling. And there are a zillion of them. I can't keep shoving down what I'm feeling. One of these days I'm going to snap and I'll end up wearing a bathrobe and curlers in my hair, walking around Target and muttering things like "I don't need detergent, I wash my clothes with Prell!" or something. Scared of that.

And in the meantime, I'm left with this emptiness. The fact that not only am I not venting, and I'm not resolving, I'm also not learning anything. And that's part of what blogging is about, isn't it? Seeing a progression of our own hearts and minds - and actions? I'm missing the satisfaction of being able to watch myself grow. I need that.

So ... here's to another attempt at writing my way through my life.

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