Monday, May 12, 2014

Not your typical Mother's Day Post

Today has been a little ... awkward ... for me.  This has not been the typical Mother's Day for me, and I just don't feel right in my own skin.  I know there are many other women out there who feel awkward for their own reasons today, and I thought I'd write about it.  First, briefly, because I haven't written in some time, Red is still in a foster center and doing really well.  He's in a public middle school, we have facilitated visits, and things are progressing.  Unfortunately, we didn't have our visit this past week as we were supposed to, which is part of the cause of my melancholy.  The other part is that Princess was sick today, and the Littles both had sniffles.  Sigh.  A mother's work is never done ... even on Mother's Day.

So ... all of that being said ... I wanted to send out some love to women all over who are - awkward - about today.

~  To those who don't have their children with them ... you might have memories of handprints and flowers.  You probably know what it is like to hold your little one close to you, your hearts beating close together.  And now, for whatever reason, your little one isn't with you.  No human can understand the extent of your pain, your longing.  Even when you meet with other women who might have had similar experiences, your journey is but a singular, unique experience.  There is nothing anyone can do to fill that hole.  I can only pray that your child will be returned to you some day.  That is my prayer for you.

~  To those who have lost a child ... your arms will never again hold tight that precious gift.  Maybe you never had the chance.  My heart breaks for you.  Your heart yearns for the laughter and smiles and memories you will never have.  I, too, know that pain ... more than most people will ever comprehend.  I wish that we had an answer for why it happens that way, but I'm not sure it would make it any easier.  Some day ... some day there will be a moment when you can breathe again.

~  To the moms who do it by themselves ... y'all are tough.  y'all are forces to be reckoned with.  You work hard, sleep little, pray much, and worry consistently.  But you are so amazing!!  My parents divorced when I was very young.  I was fortunate to have them both in my life, even though there were many times that their war nearly drove me insane.  What I remember most about those years?  My mom worked HARD to make sure that everything was taken care of.  Someday, your kids will remember that, too.

~  To the dads who do it all ... you deserve a nod, too.  I think its easier for a mom to throw a baseball than for a dad to learn how to tie a ponytail.  Society still doesn't quite know what to say to you, although your female counterparts are standard.  But there are a few of us out there who know just how much you rock.  Keep going, Dad.

~  To the moms who chose to love someone else's child as their own ... y'all are a special kind of wonderful.  You are often resented and reviled.  The respect and love you so deserve doesn't often come quickly, if at all.  You cook meals, clean up boo-boos, help with homework ... and yet, you don't always get the same amount of credit.  I'm lucky hat Princess has a great step-mom ... I know that there are a lot of you out there.  But, remember when you were a young doofus kid?  One day, that child you're loving will wake up and realize your love for them, and it will be all good.

~  To those out there who don't have a relationship with their moms ... this is NOT going to be a woeful plea to go running back to her.  Only you know the story.  To you, this can be a bitter and frustrating day.  Believe me, I understand that, too.  Hold on ... things will change.  I promise.

~  To those out there that have lose their moms ... I know the day will never be the same for you.  Even if you have 10 kids and flowers and jewelry and cupcakes ... Mother's Day is lonely.  That's so hard, I can't even imagine.  I could remind you that they're in your heart, but you know that already.  I could remind you that you have people that love you, but I suspect you know that, too.  That is a hole that can't be filled.  I pray that you find little ways to make it through.

~  [this is kind of a current event thing ... but ... whatever, my blog, I'll write what I want]  .... To the moms in Nigeria.  You have the hearts of the world with you right now.  I pray to God every single night that the rulers of this world send their forces in to get those ... those ... evil bastards that took your babies.  They can claim religion or profit, or whatever they want, but their actions are unconscionable.  I am praying every moment that you get your girls back.

~  To those out there that don't even realize ... Do you know who you are?  Do you know?  Do you know that you are counted on as a sister, friend, mother ... even if you aren't any of those?  So many women I look to as "Mom".  So many women that have come along side me at some point, put their arms around my shoulder and loved me.  Encouraged me.  Supported me.  Made me theirs.  How many of you have a woman like this in your life?  How many women do you know walk your life with you?  For they are moms, too.  Spiritual moms.  Forever friends.

All of us have traveled paths that have been bumpy, rocky, avalanche-y, and plain old Hell.  Many of us hate Mother's Day.  After all, it is a "Hallmark Holiday".  So, you know what?  To hell with it.  From now on, we're going to celebrate WOMEN ROCK DAY.  Because, whether we're moms or step-moms, or foster moms, or fur-moms, or hurting moms, or tired moms, or kids who don't know their moms ... we all have the capacity to love one another, lift each other up, and make this world a better place.  I love you, Ladies.


  1. Dammit, girl. Crying first thing on a Monday morning is NOT a good look for me. I loved this, especially the part at the end about those women who don't know that others look to them as sort-of-moms. Spirit moms. Friend/moms.

    Beautifully written. xoxo