Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Time Changes

That whole spring forward fall back thing?  I've never been bothered by it.  My friends will complain about how much that one hour messes with their entire schedule, kids are all freaked out, the world turns upside down.  I'm not bashing them, in fact, I'm quoting them.  It has just never bothered me, or the kids. Maybe we're flexible, maybe it is just because of the loosey-goosey bedtimes and mornings we have around here, I don't know.  The big changes in time though?  They REALLY mess with me.

Hubby has started to work a new schedule, and I'm really struggling with getting used to it.  He used to work middle of the day shifts, usually 11am - 7pm, or similar.  But now? 3am-11, 5am-noon.  Ugh.  Our whole routine has completely turned upside down.  He's in bed by 7 - at the latest.  I get the kids to bed and stay up working / writing / editing photos until about midnight or so.  He gets up at 1:30 (for the 3am shift), and heads to work.  I get up at 7 or so, and get started on my day.  The kids and I hang out, do schoolwork, whatever is on our schedule.  Hubby comes home, we have lunch, he does work on the house, runs errands, helps me, etc.  Then we eat dinner, and he heads to bed.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

I enjoy our time in the afternoons, and I love that he gets extra time with the kids he didn't have before.  But ... ugh.  I'm not sure I can get used to this.  Hubby used to work overnights, and I hated it.  This is pretty darn close, and the acclimating is difficult.

But, I have to admit that these changes are better than nothing ever changing.

We've recently moved in with my husband's father and grandfather, into the house my husband grew up in.  They really are very sweet, and we have had a lot of laughs.  But, I don't think anything in this house has changed in the last forty years.  I have the distinct feeling that even the conversations that take place have been the same things said for the last forty years.  Staying up late at night in the living room lately has made me even more aware of that.  The last 3 nights, they have repeated the exact same conversation ... its ... weird.

One would think that if I'm struggling with change in one area of my life, I might find some consistency comforting.  But .... I don't.  In fact, it scares me even more than facing bedtime on my own every night (and please know, that TERRIFIES me).  I think there is a huge difference between routine and stagnancy, and I don't want these same conversations between me and Hubby every single night for the next forty years.

I want times to change ... but only some times.

No comments:

Post a Comment