Today, I'm doing a little bit of research on Christ healing the masses and it is giving me a lot of insight into my own heart.
I have done so much in my life that has caused pain. I almost destroyed myself, and I hurt so many other people around me. I have spent many years asking forgiveness - from God, from others.... from myself. But am I healed? Because some of those mistakes, I've made again. And again.
When I think of healing, I think of a scab that sometimes gets picked off over and over. How can that wound heal if I keep damaging the one thing that is supposed to be healing? When do I learn how to just be better, be stronger, be healed?
I can't sit here at this screen and find the solution to inner pain and turbulence. I don't have an easy answer for you. The only thing I can tell you is to keep trusting God. Keep praying. Eventually, the peace will come. I've seen it in my own life - in some areas. In others, I just keep picking that scab.