We had Red's appointment this afternoon. I have to say, I was a little confused as to why we would be going to an appointment at the probation office. I just couldn't figure it out - he hasn't even been charged yet, there was no trial, no plea ... total confusion. The probation officer explained it, though. First, credit card fraud can sometimes be difficult to prove against a juvenile. Especially when it is from a family member. Secondly, they wanted to know if this is just an isolated incident that could be easily corrected at home, or if the victim (in this case, my dad) wanted to pursue charges through the criminal system.
How do you answer that? Yes, please, find the biggest heaviest book you can find and throw it at my first born ... the child that I look at and still see sprawled on the floor playing with Legos. But, it is what it is. We have to teach him that he is not an authority figure, that he has to answer to others, and that his behaviors have repercussions. The probation officer is going to recommend to the State that charges are filed, and then we will go through a normal court process.
So, I said yesterday that I was going to have a few things to say about the sermon at church. I want to talk about Judgement.
It is soooo easy, isn't it? It is just so easy to look at someone and make quick decisions about them, about how they act, and about their lives. It is so easy to make a stink about them without even knowing them. It is just so darned easy. I'll admit it, I even do it, without even thinking about it. See? Easy.
But who are we really hurting? I can honestly say that we hurt whomever we're judging, we hurt whomever we're speaking with - or gossiping with, and we're hurting ourselves. Who are we to be so arrogant to think that we can do God's job?!? And what's next? Hey, I can sit in judgement over others, why don't I just create an entire universe, too! Umm... No. The issue is black and white, people, when we judge, we are sinning.
You know what else is sinful, though? Buying into the judgement. I have to thank a very dear friend who smacked me (verbally) in the head yesterday. (You know who you are, gorgeous blonde with glasses and amazing musical ability!!!) She said, you are buying the lie that you're telling yourself, and that's not ok. She's right. I was buying into the shame. That's why I didn't tell anyone what was going on in my life. I was ashamed that I can't "control my kid", I was ashamed that I had bumps and bruises - from my kid. I was ashamed that we were hitting brick walls daily and there was only a handful of people I could tell. And even telling them? I was ashamed.
Because I bought into the lie that our life was something to be ashamed of. I bought the lie. And that? Yeah, that's a sin, too.
I've mentioned before that I work with a lot of "kids" at my job. Most of them are close to half my age (which makes them 13 since I'm 26 - bwahahahahaha). One of them told me that he'd been reading and said, "Pffft. Haters gonna hate, right? Don't let them take you down." Love it. Not necessarily the way I'd say it, but love it anyway.
Haters gonna hate. Satan is going to continue to try and take me down. But I'm not going to let it get to me anymore, because I have Someone so much bigger on my side.
The truth is, I'm weary with the issues in our family right now, but that doesn't mean I'm ashamed. We've got challenges, sure, doesn't everybody?!? But I know - I know with ever fiber of my being - that God is going to show His mighty face in this drama. God is going to use this for His Glory!!
Until then, haters gonna hate. But they aren't going to take me down.